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Some Clarifications, for Friends.

Macy M20 comments884 views

Well today was a much better day than yesterday!  As most of my friends and family know I have been in a lot of media circuits lately, that is really really awesome and I am SUPER glad that more intentional and sustainable ways to live are becoming ‘trendy’ that is not however why I started this project, it has nothing to do with that.  I am a very very small part of the entire tiny house community, the notion of living smaller and more intentional lives with less financial strain is not new, or unique, this is merely my version of it!  I started this because this is my life, I am an intentional person, I wanted to learn about construction, I want to try out different technologies, I want to inspire and teach others on some level I didn’t want to pay rent, I didn’t want to be a slave to a bank again, I want to be self reliant.  Honestly when I started I don’t think I expected anyone but my family to ever visit my page and even that was a stretch.  I posted diligently as I worked my tail off mostly as a challenge to myself.  I have made so many friends through this process and have been so lucky to help ad a little part of my shape to the tiny house community which is really just some of the most amazing, thoughtful and genuine people I have had the pleasure of interacting with.  I have no idea why but all of the sudden, 2 years after the start of my build I am done and just following through on the deal and posting about how it is to actually live in a tiny house (because that is critical to know too!) and it has gained popularity.  That’s cool!  Not at all why I did this though but very cool none the less, I’m so glad this idea appeals to others!  There are several sensationalized articles about my story though which have been circulating that make it seem like this is a project born out of necessity, it’s not.  This is a very calculated and intentional action on my part to better my career, to better my life and to just do something I thought was cool!  I in no way require extra media attention but I am SO glad to be able to be an inspiration to some.  All that being said, I almost shut the whole thing down yesterday!

People are cruel!  Comment after comment attacking me as a person, attacking my values in life, my choices, false assumptions about my financials, my political affiliations, my child, my family, my dog.  All things that are so deeply personal to me, and all very harshly criticized from people who know very little about me and have never ever met me.  I know you have to have thick skin for this crap but I didn’t ask for it and I was not ready for it, I just wanna do my projects people!  If it’s not your thing you don’t have to look!  I’m not sure what happened to the saying ‘if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all’.  Yesterday it brought me to tears, if you are one of the few reading this that does actually know me you KNOW how hard that is to do!   Like I say, today is a much better day, I chose not to read any comments made on the posts about my project and my life. (Except one well written post (though based on the same false premises) which has had VERY VERY few negative comments (I read maybe 3-4 out of over 2000, yes, I read them all because they were so positive!), Viral Nova, I am impressed with how you write and with your audience because those people made me feel great and it is how you write about the content that starts the conversation off on a positive note!  Thank you for your coverage even though the facts are slightly off.

Ok, so, I shook it off, I made some smart ass remarks to the most cruel of the commenters (though they were kept respectful because two wrongs don’t make a right and pretty quick I will have to teach a tiny human these things, and the best way to teach is by example!).  So, for those of you who were cruel (I doubt any of them actually found their way to my site, usually they just judge from afar) mission accomplished, you hurt me.  I hope it’s out of your system and you can go on living a little lighter now, I have nothing for you but kindness.  I don’t stay down too long and what you may not know or even care to acknowledge is that I lead an amazing life in my own right, I have helped to make it that way (I promise, its not all dumb luck though there is PLENTY of that).  I hope everyone is as lucky as me though sadly I know they aren’t.  I hope I can be an inspiration of sorts for someone even through the hateful comments, I hope others don’t get down and stop their dreams because of mean people.  Your life matters and it’s important to follow your guts!  I am always here to ask questions, to give advice on things I have experience with when wanted, I want nothing but to help others.  For the cruel people out there, you don’t win, this is still my project, my house and I am loving it as I sit here, debt free (like completely, it CAN happen, I just paid off my car this month! wewt!) in my tiny house, built with my own two hands, drinking my cocoa with my handsome (but poor poor abused, as some tend to think) Denny Dog curled up on top of me!  He has a whole house, all be it a tiny one and he chooses to nap ON ME.  And I love him for it!  Life is good, some people are mean.  I’m moving forward.

I should also note, because it is FAR more important I have received some of the kindest messages I have ever seen over the last few days, those are FAR more precious to me.  I have not had time to respond to all yet because they are all coming at once and way faster than I can reply, rest assured, if you wrote me you WILL hear back from me.  If you don’t in the nest 5 days, please nudge me again, I am trying my best not to overlook anyone!  THANK YOU to all the kind people, so much!  Like Mr. Rogers’ mom said, ‘look for the helpers’.  There are a lot of helpers in the world, a lot of very nice people, you make the world a better place, or at least MY world better!

Some really great things that I have had the opportunity to take part in just because I decided to do this crazy little project and document it.  These are things I NEVER even thought would remotely happen, those wild cards you keep on you bucket list that you don’t REALLY expect to come true 🙂

  • I’ve been in a movie (TINY: A Story About Living Small).
  • I have been filmed for hours and will be on Extreme Homes on HGTV next month! (January 2014).
  • I have been on a live network interview across the nation.
  • I have met some of the most kick ass people I never knew existed! HERE
  • I’ve gotten to be interviewed on the radio.
  • I will be published in a book next spring, more on that as it develops.
  • I get to be a speaker at the first ever Tiny House Conference in North Carolina next April (with MiniMiller)
  • I built my own frickin house!
  • I have been published in magazines.
  • I was on the front page of the 4th most traffic website in the whole world!
  • I have inspired strangers, they told me so! (could be my favorite of all)

So, even though some people are mean I am getting to do so many amazing things that I would have never got to do if I didn’t step out, take a risk and follow my gut to do what I wanted to do!  Who knows what more is to come!

With all of that, some of the most common questions I have seen are answered here:

  1. Contrary to what a lot may think, I am not doing this to promote any business scheme, this has been my own personal project and hobby for the last two years, that is all.  I did not start this blog to make money (though I have been doing ok there surprisingly!), I started this blog to document what I am doing and how the house is put together so that when I need to pound a hole in the wall I know where the wires are etc… and the own personal goal from my bucket list of keeping a blog, I just think they are neat.   I have a very good job that I love a lot, doing very different kinds of architecture.
  2. I am not going to build any more tiny houses, I am not going to force them on anyone, this is my own personal project done for my own hands on experience.  They are HARD, they take HUGE amounts of dedication and strength and hard damn work!  One is enough!
  3. My dog is not abused, he is VERY spoiled if anything.  Great Danes are very calm and docile dogs, a hyper dog would not do well in a tiny place in my opinion, I’ve owned a chihuahua, it would be much more cruel to make him live here, that little guy needed room, Denny, he is happy as a clam to nap on my lap all day, or in my bed (he is much better at the stairs now!)… and we do get out quite a bit.
  4. This is not the product of a divorce, that happened SEVERAL years prior and has zero bearing on any of this, I am not even sure how it got thrown into the mix… it’s very strange to me.
  5. I did go through a foreclosure, I could have paid the mortgage, the bank would not take my ex’s name off the loan, they forced the foreclosure saying that it was my only option.  Still I tried to do right and sell the house, no beans, our systems is very topsee-turvey right now.  I have been in the guts of the market crash, I have seen how mishandled and misappropriated bank loans are, I won a lawsuit with them because THEY mismanaged.  They lost me as a customer, and I lost my house which turned out to be for the best, even though it was horrible for a lot of years (not an exaggeration at all, 2007-2012) of my life.  Happy to talk further about this if there are opinions but do not judge me on it, I did more than most and everything to ‘make things right’.  I do not ever want to be dependent on a bank again, especially for my home.
  6. The kid (the one I will be having in March :)) will be very well loved and adored by BOTH of her parents.  I do not happen to believe in marriage, never really have, I believe in love and kindness, that is my driving force.  Marriage in my experience is the ‘best way to ruin a relationship’ (I may be jaded 😉 ).  That said, I LOVE that other people feel differently!  To each their own.  Her dad is not out of the picture though, like it was greatly assumed, he will be very involved in raising his daughter too and, like me can’t wait to meet her!  He shares a lot of the same ideals that I do.  She will be just fine and will have two parents who love her more than the world and a whole bunch of family, all in town, from both sides!
  7. She will sleep in a co-sleeper which I am building that will be located right next to my bed, I will be making a rail for the loft (though it’s more for Denny cause hes a klutz and rolls way too close to the edge of the bed for my comfort!)
  8. Babies do not NEED a high chair, a stroller, a crib, a playpen, a this or a that… babies need love, they need support, they need shelter, they need food and they need sleep.  She will have everything she needs and more!
  9. This is not a retirement home.  I have a three year plan for living here.  You can see hints of my next big project starting to pop up on the right of the screen :).  I intend to build a slightly bigger but still very small strawbale house on a foundation for my next home/office.
  10. The medical bills for the broken back and foot did cost slightly more than the house, it was not ‘worth it’ but accidents happen, I do not regret it.  I was able to pay off all of my medical bills and if you add that into the cost of the house I am still sitting around $100.00/s.f. which is pretty close to the going rate.  Without med bills my house is about half that, slightly less.

Please people, if there is one thing I have learned it is that I will never read the ‘news’ the same again, take EVERYTHING with a grain of salt.  Be kind and respectful.  Internet machos are hurtful, I have grown some thicker skin, I just hope others don’t get discouraged all together by people like the commenters I have got the joy of hearing from!  Thank you to every single supporter, if you’ve contacted me you will hear back from me, give me a couple days to catch up! 🙂

And some pictures to end on, I hope everyone has a VERY merry Holiday season!

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Macy M
I am an artist, a steward, a minimalist at heart... I love being out in the sunshine... I love animals of nearly every kind, at least the furry ones, I am trying to be a gardener... I believe people are good at the core but are also capable of very bad things when they aren't intentional about their actions... I love my family, my passions and my life... I am just me :)

20 Comments

  1. Hi Macy – I haven’t read all the comments but I am impressed with how you have risen above it all in this posting. My dad always said when people start to call you names consider the argument won.

    I have absolutely loved following your blog and your home has been an inspiration to me. I am planning on attending the conference in April and you were one of the main reasons.

    Stay well and you are absolutely right….kids don’t NEED anything but love – I am pretty sure you’ve got that covered. – Pam

    1. Your dad had some good advice, its tough not to want to get sucked into their game sometimes! 🙂 Thank you so much for the kind words! That is so awesome that I will be able to meet you this April! I am getting SO excited for it! I will probably be exhausted with the whole drive across the country thing with a newborn but I can not miss it! 🙂 It’s been cleared with the Dr. already! 🙂 I REALLY appreciate your encouraging words with the big scary concept of motherhood too, I feel like I’ll be pretty good at it, I hope! 🙂 Take care, happy holidays and we will meet soon! 🙂

  2. There will always be a percetage of trolls out there. This will only make you stronger. The way you choose to live your life should not be a concern for others. Chin up and march forward on your next project. I wish you all the best!

    1. Thank you Christine! It’s so nice to have the ‘good guys’ like you take the time to make a mark on me, I appreciate you!

  3. I got forwarded the yahoo link by tons of friends who knew I was into tiny homes (and big dogs!) but didn’t know that much about them. Most of them were so impressed with what you are doing/had done and were overwhelmingly positive. I encouraged them to check out your blog and a few of my other favs. I love how open you’ve been about the whole process from the very beginning and was worried that after the house was done you’d end the blog. Thanks for everything, Macy, and stay strong!
    Merry Christmas to you, Denny, and your little bean!

    1. 😀 thanks Kate! Happy to be passed around your circle, it has been a LONG journey, a great one though! Thanks for following along and thank you SO much for dropping me a note! Denny and I wish you a very Merry Christmas too! 🙂

  4. Macy, never read the comments. You will weep for humanity.

    I’ve got to say I have followed your blog for quite a while and I think your design is actually my favorite for tiny houses. I love the fact that you did not do a loft. I look at those and think, yeah, my knees won’t let me do that. Yours is a great design and I love the look of, not just the inside, but the outside as well. Your house is so open and lovely.

    You’re right. Babies do not need all the crap the merchandisers have been trying to force feed us. When my daughter was born (almost 26 years ago) we didn’t completely redecorate the room we used as her room. *gasp* All the nursery makeovers are fun to look at but, my goodness, I never bought into all that. Even if I were to be 26 years younger and just now giving birth I *still* wouldn’t feel the need to succumb to the blogosphere’s pressure for all things baby.

    I sure hope you don’t shut this blog down as I am looking forward to how it will all work out with you, your dog and your baby all sharing the space. We don’t see enough blogs in the tiny house community that talk about the actual living. The build is fun to watch but I’m interested in the actual living that will take place.

    Merry Christmas, happy New Year and stay strong!

    1. As always THANK YOU! I think it crazy that these generations having kids dont seem to be able to think outside of the cutsie baby crap! People have seriously come up to be thinking these things are NEEDS instead of conveniences, sure some may be nice to have but when I ask them what parents did 100 years ago without a high chair they have no clue! I think it is absolutely critical to document the actual living situation as well, I had a hard time finding good info on that myself! Speaking of that I will have to update on that soon I have rearranged a bit and it works out SO much better! I have a ton of updates I want to get to, I want to be sure to get to all the emails and comments from the week first though! 🙂 Then, it’s on! 🙂 Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, here is to the best year yet! 🙂

  5. Dear Macy, I can’t imagine how hurtful it must be to have those comments directed at you. My heart hurts just reading what people comment on most things on the internet, and it’s not remotely related to me! There seems to be a disconnect for people, on this thing we call the internet – that allows people to let loose their demons in a way I can only suppose they do not do in real life.

    Know that there are MANY MANY more people who adore sites like yours and people like you, who open up your hearts and lives and share with us! I’m sorry I never commented before, but your post today broke my heart open and I wanted to reach across cyberspace and give you a little virtual {{hug}}.

    Do what is best for you, and know that a lot of people who will never know you, support you in what you do. Thank you.

    1. Thank you SO much for your kind words! I have been able to shake it off, there has been a HUGE amount of support coming in, at least as much as the poor commenters! I wish you and yours a very merry Christmas!

  6. I just came across an article on pinterest about your small home. I think it is adorable. The size of one’s home does not reflect the size of their heart. I don’t know what the negative comments were, but a very wise man(actually he was probably more than just a man) said that we should not store up treasures on earth.
    I believe that your dog your daughter and you will have all you need in a home full of love.

  7. Oh Macy,

    I know it is more than hard to maintain good cheer and dignity when the haters come ’round, but look at you! Amazing, girl!

    I haven’t commented in quite a long time, as I’ve been dealing with my own demons, but now I want to go back and read from where I left off. I too, was worried that you would stop blogging when you finish the house. It’s good to see you writing about what life is like living there.

    Unlike you, my tiny home will very likely be, if not a permanent residence, my home for many years. When I move to my property, I will either be building a straw bale house yea! or an underground home.

    You are correct about great danes being calm placid creatures. I think people just don’t know. They don’t know, and yet feel free to proclaim their “knowledge”. I feel for you! I also want to give you an Internet hug. B-)

    Take care of yourself and Merry Christmas or at least happy winter!
    Parker

    1. Thank you Parker, good to hear from you again! 🙂 That’s the part that I don’t get, people not knowing yet feeling justified in condemning me based on speculation! I have probably been guilty of the same thing but boy, I will be more careful of that now!
      I have always loved underground and straw bale, I hope I can watch you and build along with you! 🙂 Merry Christmas to you, let’s have an awesome new year!!

  8. Hi Macy – I am really impressed and inspired by your lifestyle and openness. It takes a lot of courage to write the way you do and to share both the good and the bad. By sharing the negative experiences and how you handle them you are teaching people like me, and I appreciate it. Thank you!

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