Things That Have Been Said About Me
This is probably a hormonal pregnancy rant…
This makes me laugh, now… it wasn’t funny all coming at me at once a few months ago! I have since had enough distance to take a gander through some of the comments on a few of the articles posted on my house… One thing I can say, living any type of ‘alternative lifestyle’, whatever that means sure comes with a lot of opinions from people who know very little about it and or have not ever considered the idea but somehow see themselves as the expert on it now that there is a story about it. You HAVE to have very thick skin or just fly completely under the radar… I can personally say it is a lot like when you become pregnant and nearly EVERYONE sees that as an opportunity to tell you exactly how everything needs to be done (no matter how out of date their ‘advice’ is or their gender or experience with kids…) OR as an opportunity to compete for worst pregnancy story ever! Below are some select few comments I have received either personally or via some article about me… I just wanted to rant a little today about this, maybe I am just grouchy because I thought I would have a baby by now but she seems to have become content again and is just chilling out uncomfortably in my belly still! I did find a swing-set today and spend a while swinging to try to get her to make her way out, highly suggested! Centripetal force is a great thing and I DARE you not to smile while swinging!
Also, just want to mention, it is ok to just be supportive of others and their ideas, whether that is a lifestyle choice or any thoughts about how their child should be born, or raised… unless it directly affects you or you are asked an opinion it is totally ok to not offer one! If one more person criticizes me or calls me crazy/insane for wanting a natural, un-medicated child birth, or has some unfounded opinion about co-sleepers I am going to snap… there are MANY reasons to do things in whatever way makes sense to you, mostly to benefit the child… no one sets out on the journey of life to make as many mistakes as possible… people have different life experiences and it is TOTALLY ok if people have different opinions than you, really! (I know most of my readers know this that is what makes this just a rant…)
Now to the fun stuff you get to look forward to if you’re interested in a tiny house of your own one day! BTW, I recently learned that those who are transitioning away from their tiny houses into other stages of life are criticized as well for doing so! Just a warning, I get sarcastic and snarky back at the dumb comments… it’s not meant to insult anyone unless you happened to write one of these… believe me, I GET that tiny won’t work for everyone for a variety of reasons… I don’t have anything but support for those of you with different life choices, I just don’t always appreciate the opinions dished out to me… I think it is important to know that this is the sort of stuff you get to hear, sometimes from surprisingly close friends and family. Just because you think tiny houses are a good idea you won’t always be meant with the same enthusiasm from others, be tough, be confident and forge forward knowing you’re not alone and there are plenty of other ‘crazies’ like myself that are happy to help navigate the path with ya! 🙂
Real life quotes, from the ‘experts’ about me…
“Can’t say that I would trust a woman to build a structure to live in. Structural integrity isn’t in most women’s thought process. They are good at interior decorating.” (my favorite, sexism is alive and well folks!)
“Love what she did! But she must get some great alimony to afford it. “ (I don’t even know what this means, I can’t do this without the continued support of a man?? FYI I get NO alimony, I make more money than my ex husband ever did – who has NOTHING to do with this project in the least anyway)
“Pregnant before marriage?? Children need and want a father. The child will hate you and your life will be hard” (This one is just weird and assumes quite a lot, first off, her father WILL be a part of her life… marriage, contrary to popular belief is NOT what makes a healthy relationship – trust, communication, shared values… those are stronger tells in my opinion, oh, and kindness, which this comment is NOT!)
Great idea! I think I’ll get knocked up (without being married) by some dude who apparently is no longer in the picture and then move into a micro home with the worst possible size of dog (a Great Dane) and a baby on the way. Smart! Now I can see why she’s not a successful architect. And since she had to deal with a “messy foreclosure” apparently she’s not that good with money either. Talk about making poor life decisions. (Just wow again, one thing a lot of people lack is kindness, it seems a lot of them have the religious married thing down though, and then they wonder why I am turned away by it…hmmm, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar… again, just a lot of hateful assumptions that are not founded and could be disclaimed with the slightest bit of looking (here, here, here – top three google searches for ‘best apartment dogs’ all of which mention Danes… my website chronicles everything else, some people would rather spew such hate though that even just keep it to themselves let alone being nice… I don’t understand it, without a thick skin these things are hard to take though… again, none of this is true, especially the poor life decisions thing… I have made some pretty great ones that I am proud of… and I would guess that I am far more financially ‘sound’ than this guy… but that’s just a guess…)
“If this is the best she can come up with she owes her mommy and daddy a lot of money back for her wasted education” (Ummm, I paid for my own college… and graduated debt free, with a masters degree at 22 because of scholarships received and working full time…)
“Liberal trash, this is what is wrong with our country, this is the new ‘success'” (ummm, I don’t even know what to say to this one, I would need more explanation…)
“I would hate to be invited to a dinner party at this house…” (something you’ll never need to be worried about :))
“It’d be the first to go in a tornado……” (I have heard this literally hundreds of times… its sure a good thing we don’t get many tornadoes in the rocky mountains! I wonder though, the wheels WOULD make it the first one to roll away from danger…)
“Geez lady. Nice idea about the house and saving money..bad idea about hooking up with a broke loser whose baby you will have but who can’t marry you and provide a normal sized home so your kid doesn’t live like a gnome. If you can’t provide a good environment for children..then use birth control and don’t subject them to living like this. Grow up people!” (It couldn’t possibly be a choice that is just different than yours?? I am well versed on birth control, I am 30 years old… This is however one of the ONLY comments read that even considered it could be a deadbeat dad… all of the others pegged me as a bitchy hussy that couldn’t keep a man… I thought that was interesting…)
“She should make things right and put a ring on his finger” (this made me laugh, I would think these ‘traditionalists’ would stick to traditions, its now MY obligation to put a ring on his finger AND build the house?? (: )
“Harsh as I may be on comments, I’m being nice. As a mother of 4 that is not suitable for a child and a dog. If he cared, he wouldn’t want you or his child to live there.” (Hmmm, he wouldn’t want me/us to live well within our means so we can spend time raising our kid and saving money to get out of the rat race so we can move onto bigger and better things in life than the 9-5 grind to pay continuous bills? I’m afraid if he didn’t also agree and hold similar values he would have never had the opportunity to knock this hussy up, we have made a lot of great choices together, intentionally, it is not a series of mistakes… this is not an accident and our daughter will be well taken care of 🙂 and also, I think my life is better than yours… )
“Actually, a man could have done it for half that.
Use corrugated metal for the exterior siding.
Forget the windows, no sink, toilet is hole in floor.
Shower at the gymn. Sleep with somebody else.
Cook with a microwave.
Don’t get pregnant.” (this sounds like a lovely abode… I have no idea why this hinges on a man or woman… but yes, there ARE different design styles…)
Use corrugated metal for the exterior siding.
Forget the windows, no sink, toilet is hole in floor.
Shower at the gymn. Sleep with somebody else.
Cook with a microwave.
Don’t get pregnant.” (this sounds like a lovely abode… I have no idea why this hinges on a man or woman… but yes, there ARE different design styles…)
“Your “Great Dane” looks to me more like a (blue), non-tail-docked weimaraner than a Great Dane. Does he have any dew claws? What color are his eyes? Amber by chance? High activity and high intelligence are both characteristics of weims and Denver surely looks to me to be a weim rather than a Great Dane. Plus a Great Dane would be taller at the withers.” (I just feel SO enlightened, I should have called this guy instead of the breeder! BTW, MOST dogs have dewclaws unless they’ve been removed… and dogs are also generally a little smaller than full grown at 5 months… and also, ‘blue’ dogs of any breed have amber eyes, it is part of the gene that mutates their color…)
“First let me say bravo for her trying to save money! BUT….I can tell this lady doesn’t have a clue about having a baby at home. Where is the baby crib supposed to go? How about a high chair or play pen? It is so narrow and such tight quarters in her home. I don’t even see where the baby would crawl around. I can’t imagine a screaming baby in such a confined space. No place to take a few minutes for yourself. I think she will realize she needs more space after her baby is born.” (Oh my! How were kids ever raised before playpens and high chairs! I wonder if I can ever take her outdoors?)
“what an idiot” (that’s all this one is… ha!)
“I see problems.
Her TV is not visible from the chair she is pictured in, and its below eye level if she lays in bed and besides it would be sideways. At least it looks like a TV. IF its a computer, even more problematic. (Oh my, what am I do do without the most perfect and direct view of my TV???, it’s good I don’t watch it much… dodged a bullet there! I love that this is his FIRST concern…)
The “steps” shelves to get to the bed will be a real problem when her daughter begins to walk and climb. And when she does climb there is no way to prevent falling from moms bed which is 6 feet off the floor at least. (She built a house, I doubt she could understand how to build a rail…. which is actually 38″ from the ground… but would still hurt to fall from)
Where is the place for a baby crib? Can’t leave a crib sized baby sleeping on the King Size bed with the multi-foot drop off the edge. What do you do about bathing the baby when its too big for the kitchen sink and not yet big enough to enjoy “showers”. (first world problems, some people just sponge-bath, I am sure I will figure SOMETHING out… :)) I’m willing to bet this woman has NO EXPERIENCE with taking care of a small child even as a baby sitter if she really thinks this “home” can work for a toddler, pre-schooler. (because that was mentioned in the article, it is my retirement home…. you know…)
Note none of the pictures show the dog which should fill most of the floor space in either the living room or the kitchen corridor if it is inside. And does the dog get displaced when the baby starts to crawl or walk. Or will the baby just walk around and around the dog? (ummm, my dog is not 196 square feet… you’ll just have to trust me that this will work out…)
What is in those bags hanging off the bottom of the building. Is that the potable water or the “grey” water. In either case this wouldn’t work anyplace where the temps got down near the 32 degrees F. Its 20 below at my house today. And in those temps that exposed floor would lose a lot of heat too. (ummm those are tires… ha! it was -4 degrees HERE on that day… I did ok… amazing what a little planning and insulation can do!)
Might work for a recreational cabin where you expect to spend most of the day outside, but its a claustrophobic cabin fever episode waiting to happen if its an all winter northern “shelter” for mom and toddler, godzilla dog too.” (thanks for your ignorant ‘expert advice’, people, please don’t give too much credit to other peoples’ comments when they have no idea what they are saying, seems EVERYONE except other tiny house people think this is impossible, it isn’t I assure you, it is very possible and very comfortable… fooy to these people and those like them…)
Her TV is not visible from the chair she is pictured in, and its below eye level if she lays in bed and besides it would be sideways. At least it looks like a TV. IF its a computer, even more problematic. (Oh my, what am I do do without the most perfect and direct view of my TV???, it’s good I don’t watch it much… dodged a bullet there! I love that this is his FIRST concern…)
The “steps” shelves to get to the bed will be a real problem when her daughter begins to walk and climb. And when she does climb there is no way to prevent falling from moms bed which is 6 feet off the floor at least. (She built a house, I doubt she could understand how to build a rail…. which is actually 38″ from the ground… but would still hurt to fall from)
Where is the place for a baby crib? Can’t leave a crib sized baby sleeping on the King Size bed with the multi-foot drop off the edge. What do you do about bathing the baby when its too big for the kitchen sink and not yet big enough to enjoy “showers”. (first world problems, some people just sponge-bath, I am sure I will figure SOMETHING out… :)) I’m willing to bet this woman has NO EXPERIENCE with taking care of a small child even as a baby sitter if she really thinks this “home” can work for a toddler, pre-schooler. (because that was mentioned in the article, it is my retirement home…. you know…)
Note none of the pictures show the dog which should fill most of the floor space in either the living room or the kitchen corridor if it is inside. And does the dog get displaced when the baby starts to crawl or walk. Or will the baby just walk around and around the dog? (ummm, my dog is not 196 square feet… you’ll just have to trust me that this will work out…)
What is in those bags hanging off the bottom of the building. Is that the potable water or the “grey” water. In either case this wouldn’t work anyplace where the temps got down near the 32 degrees F. Its 20 below at my house today. And in those temps that exposed floor would lose a lot of heat too. (ummm those are tires… ha! it was -4 degrees HERE on that day… I did ok… amazing what a little planning and insulation can do!)
Might work for a recreational cabin where you expect to spend most of the day outside, but its a claustrophobic cabin fever episode waiting to happen if its an all winter northern “shelter” for mom and toddler, godzilla dog too.” (thanks for your ignorant ‘expert advice’, people, please don’t give too much credit to other peoples’ comments when they have no idea what they are saying, seems EVERYONE except other tiny house people think this is impossible, it isn’t I assure you, it is very possible and very comfortable… fooy to these people and those like them…)
“This is a single-wide trailer with wood siding – what’s the big deal? If this is the extent of this architect’s imagination and skill I can understand why she lives in a trailer.” (yeah…)
“Has any one given any thought to WHERE exactly this BABY will be sleeping eating and where all its stuff will go?! Seems pretty impractical for a grown woman A GIANT DOG and a BABY all at the same time … and what about daddy when things move forward?!” (Oh my, I TOTALLY forgot to think about those things! Where will all her STUFF go! and my stuff, and dads stuff! yeah… ummm we aren’t driven by our need for ‘stuff’, hence this works for us… I think she missed the point… )
“Like I said, not! Talk about a reality check. She has not been a MOMMY before. Wish her the best of luck, Bet the man goes before the dog!” (I refuse to be a mommy like you if you can’t make the first couple years work in a space like this… way to be supportive of other mommies though… )
“11,000 dollars for that? Bwahahaha! Somebody got robbed!”followed immediately by “there is NO way she built that for only 11,000 dollars the trailer alone would cost half of that” (I’ve come to realize that some people have no concept of the value of a dollar…)
“After looking at the gallery there is NO room for a baby. No room for a basinet or crib, changing table, swing, bouncy chair, no room for no baby Ms.Delusional!” (again, what ever will I do without a bassinet AND crib!)
“my gawd what has liberalism done to your hopes and dreams that you’d do this to yourself. haha” (um, this is not a political statement and I am certainly NOT a liberal…)
“I was really proud of this woman till I scrolled down and discovered she’s knocked up and that neither parent actually lives together. If you have to resort to building a house on a flatbed truck then how the Hell do you think you can afford a baby??” (it is not a ‘resort’…it is a very intentional decision… and I can ‘afford the baby’ with all that money I’m saving…)
“‘Babies don’t need a lot of stuff.’ HA! Spoken like someone without any children. After that baby comes, she’s going to wish she had space for a high chair, a playpen, and a walker. Not to mention all the bottles, feeding equipment, diapers, toys, etc. I think these tiny houses are a great idea but not for someone with an infant.” (yeah, I’m glad my daughter doesn’t have this person as a parent… )
“I hope she realizes that a play pen, baby crib, highchair, swing, pumpkin seat, potty chair, diaper storage, and bin plus toys and a stroller all take room. She better start adding on a room.” (it is amazing that people in our society see these things as NEEDs, they may be convenient but jeeze, needs? What the heck is pumpkin seat???)
“By the time she’s 8 months pregnant she’ll be living in a hotel, she won’t even fit in the kitchen anymore, let alone after the kid is born, this will NEVER work” (interesting… I can’t imagine wanting to be in a hotel instead of my house, especially now, being 9 months pregnant!…)
There are millions of people living in apartments across the country this small, there is NOTHING wrong or impossible about a well planned space this size, in any climate or situation. It’s ridiculous that to live in an independent structure this size takes SO much civil disobedience and is meant with so much ignorance from randoms in every corner… From some one who is actually doing it, not just criticizing it, it is not new or impossible in the least! It’s not even hard! I’ve been here nearly a year full time, in temperatures over 100 degrees and temperatures below zero… it IS possible, it DOES make financial sense if the lifestyle would suit you. If you are interested find your helpers and your support and research, research, research, ignore the nay-sayers, they infiltrate pretty close sometimes but just do your research enough to be confident in yourself and your decision. We all deal with these guys, they suck, you laugh and move on… Like Dave Ramsey says ‘If you can live like no one else, later you can live like no on else!”
Wow. I can only picture a lot of jobless, friendless Walsmart workers trolling from Mommy’s basement in front of their basic-cable FoX NuTS
Co-sleepers cause warts and indigestion… duh. I think you and others like you are inspirational Macy. Yep I’m a guy and think women can be (and are) inspirational. B.A. Norrgard (a woman of the female persuasion and tiny home builder) here in Texas has opened mine and others eyes to tons of possibilities. Keep doing what you do!
Macy, I have got to say that your rant was worth a million laughs—it is amazing how many morons there are out there—you keep on the path you are on and ignore the idiots—maybe one day they will look in the mirror and see who the real dum dum is—Matt
Pretty unbelievable, for sure. Your little house is great, and you and little one will be happy there for as long as you want.
I read the comments and personally couldn’t care less what other people have said or suggested.I followed your build.You did an amazing job.For me your personal life choices are just that,personal.I hope when things settle down a bit and you find yourself needing to be creative you share it again.I can’t wait to see what you come up with,kind regards David South Australia.
I have two beautiful daughters who have both been raised by parents who decided that being together in a smaller home was important, to not be weighed down by bills and possessions was hardly a choice just how we wanted to live. As I get older I am thinking about needing fewer things not more. We have a small dog that takes up a huge amount of room but so many people told us why we shouldn’t get a terrier, not why they wouldn’t but why we shouldn’t. My girls were born two close together, even though it was the right time to conceive and they see healthy enough, The one thing I really don’t allow in my life is negativity, my life is too short, and my home too small. Enjoy your child, neither of our daughters have ever said they wanted fewer books fewer days by the seashore, fewer days baking they never complain their crib was in the wrong place or their playpen too narrow. You have a lovely home that you put thought into and know why you made those choices I remind my girls there are always consequences to any choice just be prepared for them. Sadly so many people are not able to live with the choices they made. Tx
“You’re one tough cookie with a long…” 😉 Don’t sweat the ID 10 T’S. Can’t wait to see the little ones pic.
Dear Macy,
So glad you have grown your sweet baby well and that she will soon be in your arms. Sorry about the negative stuff you have heard over time. The bumper sticker “Mean people suck” comes to mind. But honestly the cool thing is, (thankfully) how much negative people make us appreciate the positive people in our lives. Disagreeing or stating a different and helpful view is much different than some of those full-on attacks. Yours was a well-written rant, and much more refined than those I might have penned toward the end of my pregnancies. I am not sure why people so opposed would spend time reading your blog. One would think they would move on to something they can identify with positively. I am very grateful for you taking the time to blog and help others by sharing your experiences building and living in your home. The details are very helpful. While I am fascinated with all tiny homes, yours was the first floor plan, with appliances and size that I really felt I could thrive in. I think the place you have created is a wonderful home. May you and your daughter have a great birth experience, sooner than later. Wishing you lots of sweet hugs from your baby soon. You won’t believe how sweet they smell and how soft and their skin is and how precious she will be snuggled up to you. I can’t deny that you will feel tired at first, but if you nap when she does for the first few weeks it is easier and more enjoyable.
Sincerely,
Jan
WOW, so uncalled for. Unbelievable. High five to dancing to the beat of YOUR own drum. Best wishes to you New Mama and to your new roomy!
Don’t even bother. Whatever you do, there’s always gonna be a bunch of people to criticise. They have nothing else to do, or maybe they’re just having a bad day. In any way, it says a lot about them, not about you. They’re probably so afraid of what others think of them that they keep themselves under the radar, just live for others, and feel shit about themselves without even wondering why.
If you live consciously and take responsibility for your life you’ll grow and you’ll find fulfilment, but as you’ve discovered you might end up doing something very special, stick your head out there and receive the tomatoes! You’ll have to learn how to cope with that, there’s no other way. It’s the only thing you can control, because even if you wish very hard that everyone accepts your ideas, this is not going to happen soon.
Good luck!
You’re doing something incredibly brave by sharing your story with the internet – and you’ve inspired me and so many other people as a result! Keep looking for the supporters in the midst of all the trolls, smile and listen to ‘10,000 Words’ by the Avett Brothers. Sending you and MiniM good vibes 🙂 can’t wait for you to introduce her to us!
Wow. This is amazing. I think you have everything you need, plus a big dose of common sense. Your daughter will have everything she needs, all your love and attention. (And if you breastfeed, you don’t need space for bottles and formula)
You rock! They are ignorant! They are the reason people like us want “to be different.” Baby will be better off for growing up with the no debt or little debt mentality. You don’t NEED that crap to raise a baby…ummm…the majority of the world doesn’t have that much shit I. Their house people!
So so sorry you were subjected to sooooo much shit! You rock! Don’t ever listen to their bullshit! And ummmmm….I don’t ever remember babies coming with a manual! Yet moms world wide figure it out! Be well! Can’t wait to see baby pictures!
I get that some people have thoughts of concern (the dog, baby, mom, small-space concern) but what I don’t get is people that are intimating that they speak from experience of being a parent. Yes, kids accumulate a lot of THINGS and kids very rarely play with all of the THINGS they have. THINGS are not important in life and most of them are wholly unnecessary.
When my daughter was born, we lived in an 800 square foot apartment but probably only used 200 of it due to not watching tv and having the baby with us the whole time. One of the big things that I think people are forgetting is that, yes, for them and their kids, this wouldn’t work because their kids weren’t raised that way and they don’t likely have the patience to put up with the whining and screaming that would probably commence from such confinement. All this special furniture that they think you should have is primarily used to confine the child when they don’t want to take care of it. Now who’s the bad parent?
There are potential issues that I can come up with (from my experiences as a mom) but everyone has to figure out how to handle them regardless of the size of their home and the best part is that everyone gets issues related to the size of their home; no matter how big.
Don’t let them get you down; everyone has a little bully in them some days. I love that one commenter pointed out that a man would put a hole in the floor for a toilet. I think he was trying to compliment you but couldn’t figure how to relay it.
Even if you had the crib, play pen, high chair, walker…etc, people would still talk about you…that’s what people do…unfortunately. I love your home and I wish you many happy mortgage free years there with your daughter 🙂 Janel in NJ
Omg! I can not believe some of those comments! I really enjoy your blog and your journey is your journey. You have the #1 rule of parenting already down pat, be true to yourself. I so enjoy your blog and so wholeheartedly agree with having a “small” footprint. Thank you for letting those of us who appreciate that hear your story! and Congratulations!!!
Wow, why so much hate! I cannot believe some of these comments. Macy, I applaud the choices you are making and you inspire me to think more about space, function, and how much we truly need. Thank you for remaining strong and continuing your blog. I can’t wait to see pics of Mini M.
Macy, my initial reaction to negative comments, is to suggest that you stick them where the sun don’t shine, because they do not deserve the energy it takes to write or read them. There are always provocateurs who will babble through their prism of ignorance. My thought to those who waste their time being negative, simply…Open your mind before you open your mouth, However, if you choose to have a closed mind please choose to have a closed mouth as well.
Why not rejoice in the accomplishment of a person, an Architect, who has the vision, insight, imagination to take a thought scribbled on a two dimensional piece of paper, and translate that vision into three dimensions on a goose neck trailer no less, all while driving a Prius! Who does that kind of inspirational thing? I’ll tell you, a young Architect who has within her, an idea, a dream, of what could be. A professional who has the intellect to pull together the disciplines of Art and Engineering, and manifests her vision as not only a habitat, but as an instrument that gives energy to the dreams of untold numbers of people who share her vision.
To the naysayers who criticize, I say, clear your eyes, and rejoice in her accomplishments, as an architect, a woman and soon to be mother.
ugh. Macy. People suck .and you, my dear, are my freakin’ hero!
keep doing your thing. look in the mirror and see what the rest of your readers see: a beautiful, capable woman full of life (literally at this point!) and ideas and ability.
Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.
Dr. Seuss
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
Dr. Seuss
Macy, You nailed it on the head when you summed up your post with the Dave Ramsey quote. I am a mother of four who applauds what you are doing and how you learned to “think outside the American box” early in life. I am Christian and believe you are living a life that allows you to focus on the important things and not on excess material possessions as your idea of self worth and focus. I am sad to read so many so-called Christians are forgetting the greatest command of love. I love your home and design esthetic. Way to bring a child into the world who may have an expanded way of thinking that will help create a needed change!
I’m always amazed by people who think they have all their crap together so well that they can dole out their free, unasked-for advice! While I respect their right to an opinion, it doesn’t mean it works for everyone!
Be strong! You are amazing! Your daughter will be perfectly happy being with Mom (and Denver) and will not miss silly things like high chairs and play pens! As the owner of a Great Dane, I can assure you that Denver will continue to fit just fine…..contrary to popular belief, Great Danes are total lap dogs! 🙂
Enjoy! I wish you peaceful, productive labor as you bring MiniM into this world!
Oh Macy! These comments are not even worth responding to but I can imagine that receiving them was not very pleasant.
You are an amazing woman and your journey has been an inspiration to me.
I grew up in a family of 7 and we lived in a converted 2 car garage until I was ten. I never remember feeling cramped. We often had relatives staying with us. I remember feeling like the house we moved into (that my dad built alone – another whole story about perseverance) was too big and THAT house would be considered small for 7 people by today’s standards.
I raised three children as a stay home mom. I think I was one of the last. I had home births, nursed my kids, belonged to a food coop and made my own baby food. I had Dr.s threaten to take my kids away if I had a home birth. I was criticized for not giving them “good” snacks and feeding them fruit and homemade treats. Had I the confidence I would have home schooled my kids.
Follow your own path. You are the only vote that counts in your decisions. Your love for your little girl is obvious and nothing else will matter. How much space you have, how fancy the clothes, how big the car, none of that matters. The quality of the time you spend focused on her is all that will count in the end.
And for the record, I lived in a 1700 sq ft house when I raised my kids and the only “me” space I ever had was the bathroom – and even that didn’t work if I didn’t remember to lock the door!
Hang in there, the last few weeks feel like they go on forever. Don’t worry about the birth. I always tried to remember that if it was so incredibly horrible more woman would have avoided it and they certainly wouldn’t do it more than once! The secret is always to relax and let the baby do her job. She knows exactly what to do and when to do it. A wise midwife told me to think of it this way, no matter how difficult or uncomfortable my interpretation of the event, being on the inside trying to get out HAS to feel worse. It helped me to relax to make the journey easier for them.
I know you are scheduled for the Tiny House Conference in April, and selfishly I hope you make it there since I would love to meet you in person, but I for one would understand if you just want to stay home and snuggle with MiniM.
You can do what ever you put your mind to. I love the house the god and the whole of what you’ve got going on. I’m envious (except the fall and injuries).
But speaking from experience, I got pregnant at 16 (seriously not bragging it’s been tough) but my mom said not to have it. If I did I would not graduate and I’d never go to college. 15 years later here I am with a 14 year old and a masters degree. I say fewy to the nay sayers, they are just jealous they didn’t do what they wanted with their life. My plans for later involve downsizing significantly once my 14 year old finds his place and I’ve encouraged him to think small.
Wow. People never cease to amaze me. There are so many things I want to respond to here that, if I did, I would end up writing a freaking treatise.
Suffice it to say, you *don’t* need a bunch of “stuff” for either yourself or a baby. People have been buying into that fallacy which is driven by the businesses which are desperately trying to sell “stuff”. This is something you’ve already figured out.
You *don’t* need huge spaces in which to live. Some people may actually, legitimately need more than others but it is definitely not a “one size fits all” situation. One of the things I’ve always loved about your particular design is how open and non-claustrophobic it is. You have done an amazing job of figuring out your own needs for storage and met them quite well.
That one comment about the steps being a problem when the baby starts to crawl/walk. Oh my goodness. I guess people with babies should never live in a two-story house. The horror!
I guess a lot of times people just get really defensive when they read about someone like you who has made choices they never would. They must see it as an indictment of their own choices which make me wonder why they are so defensive to begin with. Maybe they’re not truly comfortable with the choices they’ve made? Who knows.
Illegitimi non carborundum!
I couldn’t even read all of them. This is so very sad. I hope the encouraging and supportive comments outweighed the ignorant ones.
i’m concerned that you’re spending so much time and attention on the nay-sayers and giving them free public exposure to boot. they don’t live in your hide or walk in your shoes. i’m NOT surprised that your baby is deciding to take her time joining you. i’m sure she is quite aware that she does not have your full attention. your anxiety level and blood pressure undoubtedly increased dramatically as you wrote this entry (mine did just reading it!), and MiniM is probably thinking ‘no, not a good time right now!’ perhaps a change of pace is in order, some music or reading or even having a conversation with the baby. wishing you well.
I’m speechless. I commend you for putting up with this, as I know if they were directed at me I’d have blown a fuse.
It saddens me that the true colors of people come out online. Suddenly everyone is an expert and anyone who doesn’t agree is wrong. I see comments like the ones you posted all over the internet and I still have trouble accepting how ignorant and self-absorbed people really are. It hardens my lack of hope for humanity. What happened to embracing one another with support? On top of this, I also live in a 450 sq ft home with nearly nothing. Modern society is confused — they see “wants” as “needs.” I enjoy hiking and camping to get away from it all.
Anyway, discovering an article about your home inspired me. If anything, hold on to the fact that while ignorant people huff and puff along, you are inspiring others.
Have you seen the documentary, Babies?
As a single mom and one who likes to live well within my means, you can do this. Always see the silver-lining and always ignore the nay-sayers.
Oh…and I had a weim….Denver is DEFINITELY a Dane! lol
Some of those are pretty funny. And you are right to do what you want. It has been done before and will be done again with no detriment to the parent or child.
For those who say you *have* to have a high chair, well, we have one, and never used it. Our child is 2 now. We fed him either in our laps, or when he was old enough, in a booster. We even have a collapsible booster that doesn’t take up much space. The crib we *had* to have… is full of clean clothes. The child has slept in it maybe a few dozen times so far. He mostly sleeps with us. His changing table that we *had* to have…is covered in his clothes. Most of his diaper changes happen on the floor, the couch, or the bed. Most of the things people say you have to have for raising a baby are just niceties that make dealing with a baby a little easier on the parent, but are not required. Now on the point of a stroller…i can’t live without one 🙂 But then, i have a bad back so constantly carrying the baby or toddler was out from the word go. There are a lot of great backpack/front-pack/pouch systems for carrying children to leave your hands free and keep the child close such that a stroller is not needed. As you have one of these, your need for a stroller is fairly limited and given your limited space it makes sense not to have one. You might change your mind as miniM hits the toddler stage and dealing with walking Denny as well (think walks in the park, not hanging at the house) but that is your decision and people need to accept that and respect your decisions.
In many ways I envy your situation, but not sure I could talk my wife into doing something similar full time. Then again, i’m not sure I could do it full time. I give mad props to those who live well within their means in order to live a full life and not live for the next paycheck. Keep it up.
Now hopefully i didn’t end up sounding like one of the people you were just complaining about…
Opinions are like a**holes….everyone’s got one and it stinks. 😉 Macy, you’re a rockstar.
Aren’t you glad MiniMiller will be living and growing in a safe environment, with a smart and practical mom! As to childbirth … did anyone think to mention that at the end you get this marvelous little person and any pain is forgotten. As a mother of three, with two births without benefit drugs, just relax and enjoy the coming event!
Ignore the assholes. Enjoy your great home, dog and your baby. They have nothing better to do then to try and trash someone else’s dreams.
They seem to forget how the American Indian women birthed and raised their babies.
I wish you an easy labor and birth and a wonderful “mommy” experience.
Oh, dear M., don’t waste your beautiful first time pregnant time on what other people think, especially about your life, family and your well being. Truth is that everybody has an opinion, and it doesn’t mean a thing. Only people who are willing to help you without asking something in return are entitled to be heard, and even them not 100%:).
Enjoy what you have, haters don’t even have that privilege.
On ranting: it is my firm belief that suffering in silence just leads to heart attacks, especially in cases like this where the stuff coming at you is so vile and uncalled for. Rant on.
I don’t live in a tiny house, and don’t think I could. But I find your site inspiring (and find your tiny house beautiful), and it makes me ponder what I *can* get rid of and how much I *do* think I could/want to downsize. Just wanted to reaffirm that some of us “big” housers aren’t judging you!
Babies can be hard (mine were high maintenance), but not because of how much *space* you have around them. Because, you know: babies are also small. This baby needs love, milk, and a sane mama. Sounds like she is going to get those things in abundance…so she’s a lucky wee one!
May your labor be easy and your baby enjoy sleep.
…i am impressed…you have an even more irate and ridiculous fan club than i do!…apparently, many think your humble abode is too small because the “modern” thing to do is spend all your time in your house watching TV or sitting on the computer, right?…god forbid you open the front door and step outside!…after living out of my 10′ x 6′ (60 sq.ft) travel trailer for over 3 years comfortably with my dog, i came up with the quip that, “i open the door wherever i park and the world is my living room”…we spent very little time inside, and most of it out and about exploring and meeting people and engaging the community in various ways…it was very enriching…
…as far as the sexist remarks go, that’s just plain ignorance and jealousy…
…as far as your experience with being single and pregnant, that’s your personal business…there is no one set criteria for raising a family, whether it’s one parent, two parents, 4 parents, or a whole community…if you can make it’s size work comfortably to take care of your necessities, then there is nothing to scoff at…size is a perspective…to some it may seem too small or “tight”…to others, it would be considered cozy and intimate…is the glass half full or half empty?…mind you, for those who insist you need a fair sized home to raise a family, the larger it gets, the easier it is to lose, ignore or distance yourself from your family…this could be a good thing or a bad thing, but only time and experience will tell in your specific case!…
…keep on keepin’ on setting an example…don’t pay any mind to these haters… 🙂
…one more thought for levity:
“It’d be the first to go in a tornado……”
…if a twister does happen to sweep through and pick up your home, it would be pleasantly ironic if landed on this commentator!…
Hi Macy, I was briefly astounded that these truly ignorant people actually think their utter crap means anything to you beyond feeling sorry for them and realizing just how attached they are to things, as opposed to being attached to life. They are worried about a tiny house when they should be worrying much more about their small minds. Bravo for addressing them. I wish you and your daughter and daddy and doggy all the best. Your little family is very lucky to have someone who thinks outside this stuff-obsessed and size-obsessed world.
Good god, misogyny is apparently alive and well on the internet! I just want to send a huge FUCK YOU to every one of the negative assholes who are secretly jealous that someone else has the balls (or the ovaries) to go out and do something radical. I’m sure every one of those commenters is miserable in their own shitty lives, and that’s exactly how it should be.
Wow..I’m tucking this away for this next time I get an onslaught of rude comments about my plans to start a school bus conversion next year for full time living.
Congrats to you for knowing what you want,and having the confidence to tell the ‘naysayers’ to shove it.I just happened across your blog today through a link on facebook so I don’t know your whole story,but I am guessing you probably did the same as my partner and I are doing now.
Research and Planning!
It’s amazing how others assume that if your ideas conflict with theirs that you obviously must have just jumped into this lifestyle with no thought.
My biggest shock for us was that telling friends and family went fantastic and so far we have had nothing but support when we feared we would be fighting during the whole process.The ignorance has come from groups and forums we have turned to for advice and ideas.
So far I have been told flat out that I am crazy,I will freeze to death,it can’t be done where we live.That it’s not the easy life I think it is going to be so I really should look into other ways to be blowing my money on rentals.(How the heck do they know what I think is easy and that our life is so easy now???)
That they are low income as well and know how we feel,but we really need to be spending $50,000 on our conversion with another $20,000 in savings (Just.What??) and my other favorites are all the ideas we get thrown at us for places we can store all our stuff so we don’t have to get rid of it..”Well,you don’t really just want to give it all away do you??I mean stuff is so important,you might need it again,when you decide to live in a real house again that is.” *sigh*
I hope you and all the family (which includes large snuggly dogs) you can fit in your tiny home enjoy your ‘stuffless’ comfy life in your cozy little home with all the extra freedom you will have to enjoy the outdoors when you feel like it 😉 Tiny living Love from Amanda & Partner and Waldo the Basset Hound
I have not had the priviledge of seeing your build, but I can say that I loved your rant! I currently live in 200 sq ft with 2 teenage sons and 2 large dogs. I get plenty of unasked for and unhelpful ‘advice’ about how much I am doing wrong in life. My living choice was simply one of a long line of offenses I have committed! 🙂 I also chose to homeschool my sons, believe me when I say that support for thatdecision was few and far between! Originally adjusting from 2,000 sq ft to 200 sq ft was tough, but I have grown to love it, and my sons have thrived. Go with what you know in your heart is the right decision for your family, as time goes on you might have different needs, but I have a feeling you will handle whatever comes your way and handle it with style! Enjoy Mommyhood!
i can believe people to be such idiots , love everything your are doing cant wait to see the baby pics your are so lucky and blessed
I just wanted to show my support for YOUR choices! Why does every one think they need to voice an opinion or give unsolicited advice. You go girl!
Naybashers.
What is most disappointing is that if people turned their energy to problem solving instead of listing perceived shortcomings, the world would be a much better place.
Wow. This is why we can’t have nice things.
Macy, I always enjoy reading about your experiences and I applaud your design skills and choices. You are an inspiration! Bravo! to creating a healthy sanctuary to live in and all by the lovely age of 30! These negative norma’s & norman’s are frightened, angry, beings stuck in their boggy messes, they’re kicking themselves for spending more time with employers in order to pay for their stuff, than enjoying their family & friends. The sad creatures don’t know any better…
keep living the adventure!
I think you’re going to be a great mum! Babies need your time and lots of love, not absent parents with lots of toys and possessions. I love your house by the way, I think it’s brilliant. As a 24 year old female working on my nursing degree, you inspire me! xo
Society has come such a long way…we “have” to have minimum 1500 sq ft houses, we “have” to have a minimum amount of “stuffs” to be successful and live. Yeah… About that. Obviously these people don’t realize there are people who are just smarter and live “alternatively” not as a sacrifice but as a choice! I wouldn’t even bother going through these comments. Find satisfaction in yourself, not in other’s opinions. You get to sleep better at night knowing you’ve made one single great decision rather than the thousands of bad decisions the sheep on mainstream blogs make.
For the idiots doubting you did this under $11k, they are just incredibly ignorant and have never done any type of building or pricing of materials. Labor is the biggest expense on a small project like this, and it looks like you were able to get a lot of support which is awesome.
Wow. Just wow! Personally I think you’ve done an amazing job of creating your tiny home. All these trolls be jealous, that’s all 🙂
I have managed to raise 3 children (two to healthy adulthood, so far. the third is a pre-teen so it’s touch-and-go sometimes…) in tiny homes of one sort or another. most without plumbing, some without electric. My children so far are lovely people with no noticeable anti-social tendencies aside from the occasional baying at the moon and peeing on fire hydrants. one is in college, another is a college graduate.
My youngest and I will be downsizing this summer from 560 sq ft to 224 sq ft. by choice. It is not only doable, it’s lovely.
you do not need bassinets, playpens, or walkers. (in fact, walkers suck) My kids graduated to a crib at somewhere from 4-6 months old. they come in small sizes. they also fold up. if you don’t have a lot of potentially dangerous crap in your life, a playpen in simply unnecessary. essentially, your entire floor is the playpen. those little johnny jump-up thingies, though? pure gold, especially in a small space.
bathtime: once they can sit up on their own, use a rubbermaid style bin. the bonus you get out of it is a fantastically embarrassing set of photos for when they’re teens.
another bonus: when you’re in tight quarters, kids learn WHY they need to clean up after themselves, not just because mama says so. Also – they can get away with NOTHING. Mama is right there watching. no scary video games, no sneaking out windows to go party, no hiding porn anywhere. You’ll drive them nuts and keep them safe at the same time. win-win.
big damn dogs: Great Pyrenees owner, here. yes, they take up a lot of floor space. babies love crawling all over them. it’s all good. at least yours won’t put off 5 gallons worth of fur per day.
in closing: screw those guys. you’re going to be fine. You ever need another mama’s ear, just drop me a line.
Ha! Amanda, thank you! You made me laugh! I totally got a visual of a pre-teen baying at the moon! 🙂 Thank you so much for your support and your kind words, I really don’t feel like it’s too far fetched to be able to get through at least a FEW years in a small space with just one kiddo, or even two! It’s nice to have that backed up by a real life mom! 🙂
This post made me laugh SO hard. Thanks for the rant- it provided me with loads of entertainment.
Forget the naysayers, they obviously don’t get it and never will. It’s funny how most of society thinks we NEED so much stuff. We really don’t. And your sweet little MiniM will not NEED all that stuff that people think they do. Kids are amazing critters- they manage to find the most fun in the simplest of things (like the kids at Christmas who would rather play with the box than the shiny new toy that will break before bedtime).
Keep on keeping on. There are many more of us who understand and think what you’re doing is amazing!! 🙂
Thank you so much for the awesome note, I’m glad it made you laugh too! 🙂
Hi Macy, I drop by your blog regularly for inspiration, I love it. Just wanted to say I am completely dumbfounded that you have received such opinions (if you can call them opinions!). I would never have imagined that someone sharing their adventure like this could be treated in this way. It really is hard to understand, I can only imagine that most of them are fear based. Truthfully, some of them are very funny they are soo off the mark.
Anyway, please keep sharing, its an inspirational and beautiful way to live your life. Best of Luck
Thank you Gary for the encouragement!
All the previous replies said what I wanted to say, but I still want to comment to rally support. I loved the quotes at the bottom of the blog. I love acceptance and respect and joy and optimism. In a world of conformity and falling for the pressure of marketing and media you are a fabulous example of living your life in a way that is true to you, but also respectful and encouraging to others. I am sad for those entitled people who live in box of conformity and judgement smaller than your house.
Cheers! Sarah
Thank you so much Sarah!
Thanks for your amazing story and for replying to the great comments on this post!