Love yourself!

If we don’t take care of ourselves who will!?

We shouldn’t just be wiling to die for our (loved ones), we must be willing to live for them, too.

Make choices and lead your life in the same way you would hope your kids do (when they are at the same crossroad).

How can you expect your kids to find happiness if you don’t show them how to chase down your own version?

You have to love yourself just a little bit more.

Put your own oxygen mask on first and then help others.

These are all words I try to live by.

Additionally, on this Valentine’s Day, I’m going to ask you to do something extra: do something really nice for yourself! Maybe it’s the special coffee, a nice lunch out or maybe it’s just being kind in your thoughts to yourself. The love you have for yourself is the basis of the way you show up in the world. The world needs us all to show up. So be extra kind to yourself today, please.

But don’t forget

More than being kind to yourself on one special day, take good care of yourself over your life! Our healthcare system doesn’t always make that easy but it’s still important.

As self-employed individuals we don’t have great health insurance. It’s basically catastrophic only (think $10,000+ deductible per individual…). Fortunately, we’re pretty healthy overall so far, and we do a fair amount to stay healthy. Things like eating well and staying physically active. But also, we build things which we aren’t necessarily well qualified to build (recall that broken back I endured while building this tiny house…). We do our best, but stuff happens…

In addition, we’ve recently flipped over 40 and with that comes a whole new reel of targeted advertisements online. Overnight my peripheral internet adds went from lingerie to mammograms… nothing says middle aged quite like demographic based advertising.

Save some of your budget for health screenings. They are a lot cheaper than a diagnosis.

Shared with permission from James

James recently went in for his heath checkup where he got to start a new relationship with a proctologist. We knew there was some family history so he made it a priority, unexciting as it is. I’m really proud of him because it turns out, after getting the biopsy back, he had some pre-cancerous polyps which he caught early. He’s 44.

Flashback

On our first date, which wasn’t an actual first date as much as it was us just really hitting it off well at a work function, James cut it short. I felt like we were both having a really good time so when he said ‘I have to go, my dad is in the hospital and it’s pretty likely he won’t make it’ I felt like it was the worst lie ever told just to get out of hanging out with me. I take rejection pretty well and it felt like an extravagant lie so I just said ‘ok’ and went back to hanging with my friends.

It turns out it wasn’t a lie at all, his dad was really sick. He went to the hospital that evening and things had fortunately taken a turn for the better and Steve pulled through. Instead of having his last visits, visitors were turned away so he could get some rest. James came back out and met back up with us where we proceeded to have a tremendously awkward first date that left us both thinking ‘that was too weird to pick back up’ (obviously we got over that eventually). That’s a different story though.

James’ dad, Steve, passed away when Miles was just three weeks old. He was very sick for many, many years prior to his passing. Ultimately, he succumbed to a long battle with a lung disease called Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis (IPF). His battle however was complicated by a round of colon cancer that had metastasized. The lung disease was scary enough, there’s no cure, the ultimate treatment is a lung transplant. As I understand, even at a more advanced age, he made it to the lung transplant list.

In order to stay on the transplant list you have to stay relatively healthy. Colon cancer undoes a lot of his odds of staying on the list. He was put on hold for his lung transplant while he battled the cancer. He eventually made it to remission and made it back to the transplant list. Unfortunately, by that point his IPF was too advanced. Not long after meeting Miles, he passed away, far too young.

We are left wondering

Maybe if he had he had his regular screenings, maybe he could have avoided cancer. Maybe he would have defeated IPF and maybe he could still be a part of our lives in a more physical way. It’s sad to think of how much could be gained if not all was lost.

For these reasons, James has prioritized his health. It’s very scary to get back results that showed up as pre-cancerous at a relatively young age and with a relatively healthy lifestyle. However, colon cancer and breast cancer are the most treatable forms of cancer if only they are found soon enough. Regular screenings are an important part of being an adult. Loving yourself and prioritizing yourself enough to take care of yourself is so very important. And remind your loved ones because it’s important to talk about this unappealing part of adulting. It’s really not as big of a deal as all the mysteries surrounding it makes you believe.

Life is meant to be lived. Taking care of your own health is a big part of making sure you’re alive. Do it for yourself and do it for all of us!