Or Something Update
It’s moments like this that I comfort myself by saying ‘at least I’m not pregnant!’ Cause that chit is HARD!
So I did a big dramatic post (it’s been deleted)… That I probably shouldn’t have done but… everyone meets their wits end every once in a while, right? I was there. First, thank you for the comments and messages I received, I totally wasn’t fishing for it, more just venting my head off, but you made me feel very loved and appreciated, thank you. Second, I have taken some elective/forced ‘time off’ which was udderly necessary. We have gotten about 24″ of snow which has largely shut down our poor city, who is only used to an inch or two, here and there. It was actually very nice though, my car was stuck, in the driveway for about 6 days. I opted to give the kids to James to be the ‘main parent’, while my head completely decluttered (fortunate to have someone who is easily trustable to do that).
After a few days of utter isolation (which my introverted self NEEDS) James and I chatted. He agreed that it was pretty nice for him to get to spend more time than typical with the kids (I was shocked, and if I am honest a little offended by this… though I know he would loose his damn mind if it was three years too ;-)).
So we have a new plan. The kids are to a point that they are not so dependant on me (weaned! yeah!). It’s really nice to get to bond with their dad too. Hazel outright tells me that dad is her favorite (ouch!). Coincidentally, this month is the one where James officially pays off all of his student loans. That has been the primary reason he contracts with architecture firms rather than working entirely for himself. SO, he’s going to stop doing that! He’s officially going to take the kids over and let me work on some of my projects for more than 15 minute bursts. I will still likely be the primary but I am SO looking forward to a couple days a week of acting like an adult! I love my kids. but I have a threenager… They are hard. Hazel is an opinionated little soul who has ideas about what she (and everyone else) should be doing at every moment of the day. If I don’t sit in the right place, I hear about it. If her food is too hot, I hear about it. If I don’t tell the story just exactly like daddy, I hear about it. I feel like I am Donald Trumps personal assistant at times… so happy to gift her to her daddy for some much needed ‘downtime’ that will allow me pockets of blissful work time (or ‘me time’ if I so choose! though work is often my chosen outlet ;-)). I love her beyond words – and really she is about the kindest ‘almost three’ year old I know. But… she’s still ‘almost three’.
So this post is just to say I’m good now. Re-centered and grateful to have a partner who can make the adjustments necessary to keep me in control of my damned mind. Thank you, James. I’m sorry, James.
A few things I learned:
- I am ecstatic that at this point, when I think normal people would look at placing their kids in daycare, James is on the same side of the fence that I am about that and he would rather have them with us for these first years. So much so that he is willing to give up several hundred dollars a day (how much he makes working) to keep them with us. Several people have told me that is not ‘the best decision’ but we both agree there are other metrics of value than just money. We can’t get these moments back with our little turds, and more importantly, they can’t either. We have committed to the first 5 years together. Happy to see that even when I loose my damn mind that holds true and James can steer us back on track… maybe I can ease up and rely on James more than I do after all. 😉
- When I have ‘a feeling’ that I am going to die in a car crash this year it is probably best not to test that… I go for a drive when I am pissed often to clear my head, which I did… and got stuck in the scariest driving situation I have ever been in… Blizzard conditions, no windshield wipers, semis passing and pushing cars off the road… freaking scary… but I’m alive. I saw 59 cars that had run off the road. It was not the smartest thing I’ve ever done…
- I am utterly excited to get more time to work on a few projects I have been trying to piece together for years. The first being a fifth part to my eCourses that covers financials (from how to save, where to save, utilities, all things cost). I have also been asked to do a ‘sustainable parenting’ course and that interests me… even though ‘parenting’ tends to be a more of a hot/cold topic than housing, I feel like it’s an area I have become passionate about.
- More an update than thing I’ve learned, the weather delayed my meeting with the city over my code violation. I made it down there but a few people from the city had to reschedule. That update will be coming soon.
- Lastly, this little breakdown opened up the opportunity to participate in the Tiny House Summit. I was legitimately bummed to not have the time to partake and while I have been snowed in I got in touch with the organizer, Steve, to see if he could squeeze me in, and he did! I’ll do a post on this later because I bet you’ll be interested – in short, it’s a totally FREE event coming up in February, with a TON of great speakers. I’ve already recorded my session (yesterday) and have been LOVING the updates as other speakers come on board! It’s like the Jamboree but in your living room. Seriously, sign up, for free, and get your updates on this FREE EVENT! The line-up of presenters is amazing: Abel Zimmerman Zyl, Andrew Odom, Darin Zaruba, Darren Hughes, Felice Cohen, Hari Berzins, Jake & Kiva, Jay Shafer, Tracey Powell, Vera Struck, and Zack Giffin are just a few, there are TONS more. The sessions cover so many great topics… This will be a fantastic FREE source of all info tiny! Sign up here to get updates as it comes together, you won’t want to miss it! I promise!
So, for the few of you who were concerned for me, thank you. I’m ok. I reset. James and I have worked together to open the next chapter, which we’re both excited for. The impending road trip is still scary. Still on though too… I’ll be back with a camper update soon! I’m feeling much more hopeful about this new year!